If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
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I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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