I wish you could order shots online.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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