I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
