I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
