the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize