i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
