ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
