can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
