dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
