dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
