Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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