You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
