Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
What happened to fro yo and sex?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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