he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize