I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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