how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
