Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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