Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Plan B is the new Plan A
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
