I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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