Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
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I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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