She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
