My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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