Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
