Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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