whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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