and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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