She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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