That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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