Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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