Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"

Fav 13 3523 1050
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?

(1-702): View more from Nevada

You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.

Fav 54 2371 7909
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.

Fav 9 4937 862
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.

Fav 11 4828 876
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

I'm full of awesome ideas

(972): View more from Texas

Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...

Fav 20 4896 1569
share tweet
(707): View more from California

You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.

Fav 6 4568 1509
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n

Fav 10 1228 5019
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(858): View more from California

He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"

Fav 2 1093 596
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life

Fav 1 44 41
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT