He felt like a one man threesome
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in