he shaved USA in his pubs
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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