did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.