carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!