i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This house was built for laser tag.
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if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
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Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.