She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
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I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
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The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.