if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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