shes about as inviting as chlamydia
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting