Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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