btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
