Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
