the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
