She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
