a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
