where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
