I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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