How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
