He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
