my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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