I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
