Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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