I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
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I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
there is glitter all over my balls
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