i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
