Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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