I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
