bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think a kid would responsible me up
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
