I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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