New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
