a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
